Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a rural Canadian community? I’m not sure how accurate Letterkenny is, but it paints a hilarious picture of life in the small town. You might have to learn some new phrases, but don’t worry we have you covered with these hilarious Letterkenny quotes.
Wayne and his friends seem to have a blast, and if you are a fan of the show, you have undoubtedly been left in stitches thanks to their inappropriate sense of humor. Check out these funny Letterkenny quotes, learn some everyday slang, and have a good laugh!
Quotes From Letterkenny
Letterkenny Quotes
1. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” — Wayne
2. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” — Wayne
3. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” — Wayne
4. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” — Daryl
5. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” — Squirrelly Dan
6. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” — Wayne
7. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne
Best Letterkenny Quotes
8. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy
9. “…I’m too fat to run.” — Squirrelly Dan
10. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” — Wayne
Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Positive Energy Quotes that will remind you that “you can do it”
Letterkenny Phrases quotes
11. “We need backup, boys.” — Jonesy
12. “Hard no.” — Wayne
13. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” —Reilly
14. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.” — Everyone
15. “Not my pig, not my farm.” — Wayne
16. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” — Wayne
17. “Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jonesy
18. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” — Wayne
19. “And I suggest you let that one marinate.” — Wayne
20. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” — Wayne
21. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” — Katy
22. “Figure it out!” — Everyone
Don’t forget to also check out these thrilling Motivational Quotes to keep you entertained.
Letterkenny Sayings
23. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” — Wayne
24. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach
25. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” — Katy
Letterkenny Wayne Quotes
26. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne
27. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne
28. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” — Wayne
29. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” — Katy
30. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” — Squirrelly Dan
31. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne
32. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” — Gail
33. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” — Wayne
34. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” — Daryl
35. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” — Wayne
36. “You can cross fuck off.” — Wayne
37. “Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” — Jonesy
38. “Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.” — Reilly
39. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” — Squirrelly Dan
You might also like these I Love You Quotes that will make your day.
Letterkenny Best quotes
40. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” — Wayne
41. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” — Wayne
42. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” — Wayne
43. “Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” — Reilly
44. “Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what A Series of Unfortunate Events you been through, you ugly fuck.” — Jonesy
45. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” — Wayne
46. “Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses.” — Jonesy
47. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” — Shoresy
48. “You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.” — Daryl
49. “It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” — Wayne
50. “You naturally care for companionship, but I guess there are a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” — Wayne